Dear Friend,
I have the most messed up family on the face of the planet, or so I think. I mean my mother is an alcoholic and my step mother is a saint…isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? So I don’t know my mom is an odd case I guess. But really what could cause you to drink to the point your own child hates coming over to your house. I shouldn’t have gone over there the other night. I mean I just stopped by and she starts yelling at me cause I’m all her problems and so she decides the belittling me is the best thing to do. Got to love a mothers love…not. I mean really I guess this has taught me that alcoholics are the same even when they aren’t drunk cause of the brain damage.
I mean okay so she pissed me off so bad the other night that I just left and went to a park and sat in my car pissed beyond belief. And of course my boyfriend Mark magically shows up after I called upset. He sits with me and then out of the blue decides it is the time to tell him he loves me. Talk about bad timing I mean I share the feeling make no mistake there I love him…but when I pulled the “I love you too” card. He didn’t believe it but that was because I was so shocked and still upset because of my mother. I mean sure we talked about it the next day and to think that we both talked to Dan before saying this to eachother. So Dan and Mark have been friends since they were like three and Dan and I have been friends since I was a sophomore in high school. And so naturally since Dan is our best friend we would go to him for relationship advise. I mean but why would he say I should wait to tell Mark that I love him when Mark had talked to him a month earlier and Mark had told Dan that he loves me. It makes no sense. But maybe I just miss read the whole thing. I guess humans do that a lot though, I mean miss reading things. I wonder if wars have been started because of miss understandings…that would suck.
And maybe being infinite connects all of this I mean is infinite being so small but so significant? I mean aren’t we all significant on a very small level which then makes us infinite cause we are still on such a small scale compared to the largeness of the world. I mean isn’t it? I don’t know maybe I will figure it out some day.
Love Always,
Clare
I have the most messed up family on the face of the planet, or so I think. I mean my mother is an alcoholic and my step mother is a saint…isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? So I don’t know my mom is an odd case I guess. But really what could cause you to drink to the point your own child hates coming over to your house. I shouldn’t have gone over there the other night. I mean I just stopped by and she starts yelling at me cause I’m all her problems and so she decides the belittling me is the best thing to do. Got to love a mothers love…not. I mean really I guess this has taught me that alcoholics are the same even when they aren’t drunk cause of the brain damage.
I mean okay so she pissed me off so bad the other night that I just left and went to a park and sat in my car pissed beyond belief. And of course my boyfriend Mark magically shows up after I called upset. He sits with me and then out of the blue decides it is the time to tell him he loves me. Talk about bad timing I mean I share the feeling make no mistake there I love him…but when I pulled the “I love you too” card. He didn’t believe it but that was because I was so shocked and still upset because of my mother. I mean sure we talked about it the next day and to think that we both talked to Dan before saying this to eachother. So Dan and Mark have been friends since they were like three and Dan and I have been friends since I was a sophomore in high school. And so naturally since Dan is our best friend we would go to him for relationship advise. I mean but why would he say I should wait to tell Mark that I love him when Mark had talked to him a month earlier and Mark had told Dan that he loves me. It makes no sense. But maybe I just miss read the whole thing. I guess humans do that a lot though, I mean miss reading things. I wonder if wars have been started because of miss understandings…that would suck.
And maybe being infinite connects all of this I mean is infinite being so small but so significant? I mean aren’t we all significant on a very small level which then makes us infinite cause we are still on such a small scale compared to the largeness of the world. I mean isn’t it? I don’t know maybe I will figure it out some day.
Love Always,
Clare
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